In Desperate Need

Of a Vacation; Not to a sunny; Beachy; eco friendly place...
More in need of a mental vacation... A day of meditation and relaxation; where I can allow everything that's been clogging my mind to pass through;; I can say Oh hey! and then they can leave!!! I gave you attention you bothersome little thoughts... so now you can go in peace...and leave me alooooooooone!

Ahhh what sweet bliss that would be! I think thats why I so desperately love Bikram... Im so hot and bothered and focused; that its the one time my mind is blank from anything other than: Inhale: Exhale: Pull, pull, pull further: Come back to start~ :o)

I want to immerse myself in a daily practice; and everytime I try; Something goes wrong... Its like my Mom says: "The Devil doesn't want us to to do what brings us peace... He is always lurking in the corners plotting how to ruin that smile, those goals, that happiness...  " Gives whole new meaning to misery loving company...
But who are you, Devil? Are you all those little negative thoughts running through my head? Are you the blank my mind went when we missed our stop after getting up at 5 am to make it to yoga, and were too late; so went to work only to spend a day exhausted from a non-accomplished morning?
Are you the one who accidentally hit cancel instead of snooze on my alarm this morning when we attempted to do this again?
Are you the soreness in my every muscle? Who hurts with each step? Are you the snow falling who paralyzes all things, events, plans, transport? Whoever/Whatever you are; I'm on a mission to defeat you and your discouragement.... Why do you think the Sun is shining right now? B/C Im making it to my mental vacation tonight; even if you bring about darkness again.
Consider yourself warned!

Burning questions just B/C my little brain is working =]

Today Im thinking back; Actually for the past few days I've been thinking back to all lessons learned in the matters of the heart; and the matters of sharing your life with someone. Im a stalker! Im a stalker to all things exes; because I can't ever seem to figure out how you can share your life; your intimacy; your heart with people, and yet never truly know who they are!

I started my list of 25 things learned in 25 years, and I post one to my FB stat each day,; only to realize I have sooooo much more left to say to all of them. Why am I so goddamn opinianated?
My new Zodiac rules me a Libra; my wife's sign... But Librans are known for their balance; and im so far from balanced... I am rational, i am meticulous, and often times anal about certain things; but Balanced?! By far, the least of my virtues.

So anywho... in these postings I've come to realize; and I guess we can rule this yet another lesson learned; That you never truly know anyone. And not because they may be lying to you; or being fake with you... but sadly, because humanity lacks knowledge of itself. We seldom know who we really are enough to allow other ppl to truly get to know us. We are everchanging... and when a person we are in a relationship with fails in some way; or demonstrates characteristics opposite of what we think we know of them; we are quick to say: I dont even know who you are anymore....

But if we evolve; and grow and change; we quickly ask for those changes to be respected.... justified even....
What is it we truly seek when we look for partners in life? To share our GROWTH; EVOLUTION; SELF-REALIZATIONS and CHANGES with someone who will UNDERSTAND And share THEIR OWN with us?
OR do we selfishly Seek to KNOW it aLL  and expect it NOT TO CHANGE, ever?

TGIF

Its been a looooongggggg week... the beginning of the year always seems to drag.
Maybe im tired of the cold weather, maybe its just the fact that my beautiful wife is home sick and im stuck at work watching the hours pass like turtles on a bad day; anxiously waiting for things to speed up so I can go comfort her...
On the upside of things ; Its FRIdayyyyyyy... Time to sleep in; get some wedding pictures done in the AM; work out; and still have hrs left in the day to enjoy! I love my weekends like nobody's business.

The flurries are back today;
I like snow; I just hope it doesnt paralize things again..
Last week's Blizzard was no joke. The extra day with no work was nice though!
Trying to walk through all this, not so nice though:

But it Makes for one beautiful view indeed. I tried getting the statue of liberty in here but there is no zoom on my handset.. cheapasses!

My mind is on autopilot today so if i dont wrap it up ill just start blogging about nonsense that ill then come back to re-read and just end up editing.. so Bye! =]

2010....

Another year gone... Ive existed for half a century and yet it seems this year is when my life began. The end of 2009 and all of 2010  has marked the beginning of what i call my enlightenment period. I know myself  completely... i know what my dreams and aspirations are; I know my full potential; I know my favorite things in this world and my peeves; I know my heart; I know and respect my mind; I know my wife; And I love my life.

So 2011 will be a year of fulfilling all these new found and amazing characteristics and acting in ways that will enhance this beauty I feel inside.
My mantra for this year is:  smile more.. and worry less. =]  no matter what the situation, no matter what the calamity.


I took some time off from the world last year...and it was very much needed... I feel ready to reconnect with a few I've missed along the way; and hope that they can only help fill my life with even more joy.

Happy New Year!!!!

Blizzarddddd- BLurssss

Dec 26th, 2010.... Way to end the year in a BAM! with 26 inches of snow in certain parts of NJ/NY... About half of that by our home... But still as crazyyyyyyy
The good part: I got an extra day off work./// the downside: I now have to walk through slush and it takes twice as long to get anywhere....
Gotta love the many seasons of the East Coast~
A very bright and white holiday is how this year will go off... always in style... I wonder if many will still gather in Times Square to stand in inches of slush for hours waiting for the ball to drop...
Ill be in a beautiful red dress; cozy; indoors; enjoying some bubbly; good food; beautiful family and a wonderful couple celebrating their union to one another... So excited!

All Things Wonderful

Its a short week!! three more days of work and then 3 wonderful days of fun and relaxation for the holiday weekend... Can't hardly wait!
Tonight I'm working on setting up a nice workout routine for baby... some power yoga moves followed by a little resistance training. I hope this doesn't turn ugly! She gets defensive when I'm telling her what to do and pushing her a little over her limit.. I just hope I don't end up with a black eye lmao.

This past weekend was spent visiting my family... and in a short visit I learned so much...
first about honesty,,, second about the value of open communication. And i feel so grateful to have that with my partner. My brother and his wife of 10 yrs are divorcing (by his choice).. because he is unhappy...
and now recently began seeing someone new.. who makes him all giggly and high schoolish....

And everyone is pretty upset with him...  because I guess they feel eventhough he isnt happy or in love anymore; that you should do whatever it takes to make your marriage work.. I dont quite agree... Yes; U take vows... and YES you should try to make things work.. but when there is no more trying left... then what?
Just stay to avoid hurting the other person??... I think that hurts more.
The one place where I think he went a little wrong was in not telling her earlier  just how unhappy he was...
He was not HONEST about the transitions/change of heart he was going through... so how could she have known what to do to try and better the situation, if anything?

Its heartbreaking to watch two ppl you've only known together now lead separate lives; and its scary as a newlywed to see that so many marriages fail after a few yrs.. die out, bore.. whatever the reasons behind it... 
But I guess in life; as in love, the one thing u have full control over is being open, honest and clear about what it is you want... expect.. hope for... are happy with... And I think in order to make sure both partners are getting what they desire; they need to verbalize it.. No one is PERFECT; nor PSYCHIC,,, and no two ppl ever love the same. So speak up! Its not easy.. and  It may cause some discomfort now; BUT it can save you tons of heartbreak later...

Peace

There's this strange feeling flowing through me right this moment...
Its not old; not new; not unknown
But everytime is different...
Peace....
Of mind; of body, of soul....
At peace with myself, At peace with my world... 
Its interesting how you can be broken into pieces one day...
And the next is like an opportunity for renewal.. do you take advantage of this blessing?

Last nights experience at Yoga To The People was amazingg... Its busy, its hectic and its chaotic while everyone is leaving class/ preparing for the new one... There's a collision of energy,, the jittery one coming in and the calm one getting out...
Its almost like leaving a cave after years of being in silence and darkness and being exposed to 
Times Square's alive, awakened, almost Manic energy. But the thing is when you are so at peace;
Its hard to even feel affected by the chaos that surrounds you. And that's exactly how I felt,, and still feel this wonderful Thursday morning,
Like i found a balance i was lacking all week.

Im grateful for the phone calls from my mom asking how Im feeling; Im grateful for my mother-in-laws emails telling me she misses us... Im grateful for the delicious dinner my wife made me; Im grateful for the warmth she has found in her North Face ;)
 Im grateful for the way she feels safe in my arms and falls silently asleep knowing nothing bad can ever come of this Peace we feel around each other.